Hey there blog tappers! My name is Holly and I blog over at These are the Moments .
such a STUD.
With the beautiful thought of a happy marriage, a gorgeous family, and having it "all", I sometimes find myself consumed in fears.
Do I want my fears to consume my happiness...absolutely not...but do fears cross my mind, definitely yes.
I am always such a positive person, one who always has a smile, one who can make anyone feel better, one who is confident about life. But when it comes to the stuff that weighs heaviest on my heart, I get weak, I question myself, and I doubt.
My biggest fear is not being the wife I want to be. I love my groom more than anything, but in a non-perfect world, I strive for perfection while beating myself up in the process. I have never in my life been self conscious, but I question "Can I really make this man fall in love with me over and over again for the rest of our lives?" You see my fear comes from my own life experience. I come from a divorced family. My parents were divorced when I was a very young gal, I have had emotional sad moments in my life that have defined me know matter how hard I have tried for them not too. The word divorce scares me, I have such a fear of it. In fact before I even met Mike I questioned if I ever wanted to get married because of what I had been through. BUT to answer everything I have just said, no matter how deep the scars cut or how much fear this gives me, I can only TRY to be the best wife I can be, to LOVE as hard as I can, and to know, NOTHING in this world is perfect.
Besides the D word, my second biggest fear is not being able to have the family I have imagined. Like the marriage part, it wasn't until I met Mike that I knew for a fact I wanted to have a family. These last 6 months baby fever has hit an all time HIGH. It doesn't help that pinterest has the cutest stuff for babes. But between the cute outfits, the photo shoots, the nurseries, what if one who deserves and longs for a baby, cant have one. I have had my fair share of medical history/diagnosis. One time even being told it would take work to get pregnant. Work as in Dr visits, testings, yada yada. Well since that day I have been terrified. What if it doesn't happen for us? What if we don't have the extra money to help us out? What if, what if, what if....
My answer to this is simple. Prayer.
I'm a believer. I know if its meant to be it will be. And I know, no matter how big this fear is, I will do everything in my power to make it happen.
So there ya have it blog tappers, and honest and raw look at some deep fears.
Nothing is impossible, and I'm a firm believer in that.
I'm made of hope, love, faith, and happiness. That beats fear any day! :)
Thank you all for reading.